Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and come on in! Welcome to Alberta’s Political Three Ring Circus! You’ll laugh and you’ll cry watching the logic-defying actions of the players in the Alberta Political Circus. It’s a thrill a minute, so grab a seat. The show is about to begin.
Ed Stelmach
In the center ring is the Grand Poobah of Hocus-Pocus, Fast Eddie Stelmach and his wild and crazy henchmen! See fast Eddie appoint Rockin’ Ronnie Liepert minister of health! Watch Rockin’ Ronnie dismantle the Alberta health governance system. You’ll be thrilled as he imports the Amazing Aussie, L’il Stevie Duckett, who puts the boots to the folks running the system. Watch as regional health boards and the mental health board and a whole bunch of others get pink-slipped. You’ll burst your britches with pride when former CEOs of health regions get mega-bucks in contract buyouts.
But wait. Fast Eddie isn’t done yet. Heck, he’s just warming up. He’s punted Rockin’ Ronnie out of his portfolio and brought in Gentle Gene Zwozdesky to calm the waters and make nice with all the folks who got their knickers in a twist over L’il Stevie’s capers. Central ambulance dispatch? Gag orders on doctor’s comments on the medical system? Drug costs for well-heeled senior Albertans? Gentle Gene makes sure they are gone like Greyhound. Why, before you know it, Gentle Gene will have paid out L’il Stevie and the Superboard folks and re-appointed Regional Health Authorities to ensure local control of the health care system. That’s our Fast Eddie—the master of political illusion… the man who can make all the course corrections your money can buy.
David Swann
In the second ring, there’s Her Majesty’s Loyal Opposition, the Three Amigos of Alberta politics. You’ll be spellbound as Alberta’s Liberal Party, led by Doughty David Swann, bravely rides its Liberal-brand unicycle over the political high wire as the Pit of Political Oblivion awaits below. But wait! Isn’t that Liberal MLA Dave Taylor jumping overboard to drive his own unicycle? What’s next for these wild and crazy Liberals? Will MLA Hugh MacDonald bail out to start the Sexy Mustache Party? You’ll never know if you don’t watch the show.
The mysterious Wild Rose Alliance Gang will puzzle you. Are they a bunch of social conservatives dressed up as fiscal conservatives? Or an aggregation of fiscal hawks who are really social liberals? Why are the Big Oil Boys from Calgary supporting the WRAP? And what will happen to the WRAPers when the panic-stricken Tories finally dump Fast Eddie and replace him with Terminator Ted Morton, the biggest social conservative north of Oklahoma?
Brian Mason
You’ll be enthralled as Alberta’s zany New Democrats try to drive their political bus on the uphill road to victory with tired Brian Mason at the wheel. Meanwhile, Rachel Notley, a politician with the skills and pedigree to take the NDs to the next level, sits quietly at the back of their bus.
In our tiny third ring, there’s the Awesome Twosome of grassroots politics, the Alberta Party and Reboot Alberta. You’ll be astounded as the Alberta Party, led by Edwin Erickson, zooms around trying to find room between the other performers. Meanwhile, you’ll be mystified and intrigued by the Reboot Alberta gang. Are they really a discussion group for Alberta progressives, or are they a Trojan horse established by those clever Tories to keep the progressives twittering amongst themselves? If not, why is Tory cabinet minister David Hancock, the “Roll over Rover” of Alberta’s progressives, sniffing around the Rebooters? It’s a mystery.
Best of all, ladies and gentlemen, this show is free. It won’t cost you a nickel, and you won’t have to lift a finger in order to watch the show.
Do you, sir; in the back row, have a question? You want to know how it can be a free show? It’s a fair question deserving an honest answer. It’s free because it’s not much of a show. After all, when you’ve sat on your backside and watched the same clown troupe for 20 years, things get very, very stale.
If you want to see a better show, pay your dues for living in a democratic society by getting involved in the political process. I’ll guarantee you only one thing, folks: You’re getting the political show you’ve earned. Now step right up… √
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It is a circus but it’s definitely not fun. I think the bottom line is we need to clean house from top to bottom and start over under new rules. The rest of the country is even laughing at us now.